A State of Loneliness

As summer has come upon us, I find myself in a state of loneliness.  I know that sounds ridiculous - how could I ever be lonely as the weather begins to brighten up outside and we are no longer living in a snowy, dark place?  I think this time of year just makes me think back on what I would be doing had I not moved and it makes me miss living in KY.  

I know those of you who are reading this and have to have a job in order to survive want to smack me for saying that I'm so sick of not doing anything and having no one to not do it with.  However, this is the reality of the situation.  I miss teaching.  I really missed all of the end of the year festivities that I didn't get to participate in this past school year.  I miss really being on a summer break and all that entails.  I miss being able to call up my old team teacher and great friend, Anessa to see if she wants to go to the pool.  I miss hanging out with all my high school friends and finding out when we can go get a smoothie from Tropical Smoothie Cafe or going over to Taylor and Chelsea's the lay by the pool.  I miss living with my best friend, little Doni, and doing everything and nothing with her.  I miss hanging out with all of my friends on random nights just because it's summer and everything has slowed down.  I miss trying to get my other bestie, Katie to take a "comp day" (although she has them no more) to spend the day at the pool with me.

I'm pretty sure that the root of all this is that I deeply miss my friends and company that I could always have when I was living in Kentucky.  Now, I'm alone all day, left to my own devices.  Honestly, I've become really lazy and unmotivated simply because I have no pressing need to be motivated for anything.  I've also become really lonely because with all this time that I had yearned for when I was in a season of busyness just isn't as sweet as I thought it would be (the grass is always greener, right?).

I don't ask for pity, in fact you shouldn't feel sorry for me.  This is a season where I should relish in the fact that I am free to spend time with the Lord and discover what He wants of me.  I know that I was blessed with a lot of friendships and good times in Lexington, but I feel as if I never really knew what it was like to lean upon the Lord in times of loneliness simply because I never really felt lonely there.  What I ask from you is to pray for me, that I may embrace this time and look at it as an opportunity to try and be more like Christ and grow closer to our Father and not just waste away in my favorite spot on the couch.  Sorry for such a mundane post, but this is what is truly written on my heart today.

"But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed." Luke 5:16

Happy Wednesday - Hump Day!  This was (and still is) my favorite day of the work week!