The Life of a Chair

Once Upon a Time...

There was a piece of furniture named Charles the Chair, his friends called him Charlie.  One day, Charlie was sweating outside in the heat of a hot Chicago August hanging out with some family and friends when 2 crazy women in a Hyundai drove up and starting shoving him (his brother and cousin) into every nook and cranny of the Sonata.

Charlie the Chair lived a good, air conditioned new life.  He spent countless hours of the night wondering whatever happened to his brother and cousin, but when the sun rose and he was able to bask in it, he quickly forgot his old life.  After six long months of living in his new home, his crazy new owner got the burst of energy needed to start tackling a chair renovation...that's when things turned ugly.

After being pushed around, bruised, beaten and stripped of all the thousands of staples that he had in him, Charlie found himself feeling alone and cold.  It's a good thing he lives indoors during this blustery Chicago winter!

As soon as he didn't think it could get any worse, his owner got out some Citristrip and immediately began to slop it on his appendages.  At first it tickled and he didn't mind it...but then, after an hour of sitting on his body, he started to feel sick of the smell and he didn't like the burning sensation he now felt.

After an hour of a Citristrip bath, he watched (in horror) as his owner came at him with a metal paint scrapper.  As if he hadn't been poked and prodded enough!  He began to feel violated.

Naked, and left for dead Charlie the Chair waited to be rescued.

Out of the darkness, an Angel of Wood Stain suddenly appeared before him and offered Charlie the Chair new hope, and a new life.  It was finally beginning to feel as if things were taking a turn for the better.

Will Charlie the Chair survive this mistreatment?

Will the Angel of Wood Stain really fulfill its promise of new life?

Or will Charlie simply become tomorrow's firewood?  

Stay tuned.