Wednesday, June 9, 2010

A State of Loneliness

As summer has come upon us, I find myself in a state of loneliness.  I know that sounds ridiculous - how could I ever be lonely as the weather begins to brighten up outside and we are no longer living in a snowy, dark place?  I think this time of year just makes me think back on what I would be doing had I not moved and it makes me miss living in KY.  

I know those of you who are reading this and have to have a job in order to survive want to smack me for saying that I'm so sick of not doing anything and having no one to not do it with.  However, this is the reality of the situation.  I miss teaching.  I really missed all of the end of the year festivities that I didn't get to participate in this past school year.  I miss really being on a summer break and all that entails.  I miss being able to call up my old team teacher and great friend, Anessa to see if she wants to go to the pool.  I miss hanging out with all my high school friends and finding out when we can go get a smoothie from Tropical Smoothie Cafe or going over to Taylor and Chelsea's the lay by the pool.  I miss living with my best friend, little Doni, and doing everything and nothing with her.  I miss hanging out with all of my friends on random nights just because it's summer and everything has slowed down.  I miss trying to get my other bestie, Katie to take a "comp day" (although she has them no more) to spend the day at the pool with me.

I'm pretty sure that the root of all this is that I deeply miss my friends and company that I could always have when I was living in Kentucky.  Now, I'm alone all day, left to my own devices.  Honestly, I've become really lazy and unmotivated simply because I have no pressing need to be motivated for anything.  I've also become really lonely because with all this time that I had yearned for when I was in a season of busyness just isn't as sweet as I thought it would be (the grass is always greener, right?).

I don't ask for pity, in fact you shouldn't feel sorry for me.  This is a season where I should relish in the fact that I am free to spend time with the Lord and discover what He wants of me.  I know that I was blessed with a lot of friendships and good times in Lexington, but I feel as if I never really knew what it was like to lean upon the Lord in times of loneliness simply because I never really felt lonely there.  What I ask from you is to pray for me, that I may embrace this time and look at it as an opportunity to try and be more like Christ and grow closer to our Father and not just waste away in my favorite spot on the couch.  Sorry for such a mundane post, but this is what is truly written on my heart today.

"But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed." Luke 5:16

Happy Wednesday - Hump Day!  This was (and still is) my favorite day of the work week!


  1. Hi Kare-bear. Your post made me sad, but I also admire that you are able to realize that you can use this time of loneliness as an opportunity for God to work on your heart. I'll be done with school in 7 DAYS! I can then be at your beckon call. I'm super excited you're here this summer because I do understand being lonely and lazy when you have nothing pressing to do. Praying for you though!

  2. i can honestly say...

    i 110% i know how you feel.
    and i know it sucks. a lot.

    but this post is encouraging to me. so thanks kari :)
    i agree about spending/sharing your loneliness with the Lord. i need to definitely get better about remember that.

    miss you dear friend.
    here whenever you need someone who is going through the exact same thing!

  3. I know how you feel sometimes. I am a stay at home mom to two little girls. 99.9% of the time, I absolutely LOVE being home with them, wouldn't trade it for anything, but there are times every now and then when I wish I could have a staff development day. At least I'd get a peaceful lunch! :)

  4. We miss you too Kari! I love you a lot :)

  5. all my friends from far away COME HOME NOW! OK, that's not the right thing to say...I'm supposed to be encouraging you where you are {not where I want you to be}.

    I will definitely be praying for your time to be fruitful & full in Chicago and that the Lord will use this to grow you in MIGHTY ways.


  6. Thinking of you and hoping you had a better day today! I definitely go through periods of loneliness. I think it's bound to happen especially when you live alone like me. Sometimes I forget that God has a perfect plan for me even if it's nothing like I experted my life to be. Praying for you too!

  7. Oh Kari,
    so i cried, but that is nothing new, I cry all the time. I miss you too! I need that fourth Child to add to a pool pass(even if i am dirt poor) but most of all i miss YOU, your heart and your wonderful friendship just to be myself with. I am glad that you are spending this time with Jesus, and it is ok to do that on that spot on the couch. Really this blog made me want to get up and drive to chicago right now. Just to spend the day with you. I love you. and believe me the end of the year festivities missed you just as much. it just isn't the same.

  8. Kari

    I have been there's not a good feeling and no matter what you do it really doesn't make it better it just takes your mind off of it.
    Take comfort in your friends and everything else will fall into place!
    My wife is a teacher and we lived 4 houses away from each other for 5 years never meeting, someone is there just waiting for the time to be right.....God does have a plan for us all.
    All the Best

  9. pool day - thursday - be here!

    i would love nothing more than if it were that easy...but know that i think you're incredibly strong and that the Lord will bless your faithfulness :)


I love to hear your thoughts - leave me some loving!